Allison dug her hands into the dirt kneading it, and softening it, before pushing the seed gently into the earth. She smelled the manure in the air. The smell used to bother her, when she first moved to the farming tribe, but now it smelled like home. She stood up straightening her back, she heard and felt a satisfying crack in her spine. The sun was in her eyes for a second, and then she was looking at the tree line. There he stood. She did not know why he kept bothering. she wasn't going back. Ever. She went back to her work pulling seeds from her bag and readying them for the earth. She worked until dusk. He stood there all the while. Hiding, not willing to be out in the open more than he had to. Allison did not hate Xander, but she was tired of his constant asking. As she packed up her supplies he approached her. “Allison, you are my only chance.” Xander pleaded. This had slowly turned into a weekly occurrence, after he had first confronted her at the botanical garden. She had headed there in search of some herbs and he had almost outed her secret. Xander wanted Allison to take him back to the fertility tribe. Where they were both from. Allison was fertile and Xander used to be fertile. Allison would never go back, she could never be her true self there. It's hard being gay when all anyone wants of you is to have kids over and over again. Not being a person just a uterus. Years ago Allison ran away. Xander on the other hand had been cast out. Sudden infertility is frowned upon, to put it lightly. Now he wandered choosing to not to join another tribe and instead spending every day wallowing in shame. Allison looked at Xander, his eyes, tired. He was thinner than the last time she saw him. “Come inside, and I will fix you something to eat.” “Please,” Xander only ever thinking off his daughter. “Bring me back to her” Allison reached behind her and clutched her kukri, knowing the knife’s edge would be more than enough to protect her, from this sad middle aged man. “Come inside, I have some carrot stew.” Allison enticed him, carrots were probably the sweetest food that was still safe to eat. Xander sighed, and they made there way inside. A few times throughout the meal Xander tried again and again to make his case. It would never work, he would, maybe, get to see his daughter one more time. And that is a hard maybe and than be cast out or worse killed. Allison on the other hand would never be trapped again, this time forever. Allison held firm. She told him about her nightmares and that shut him up for a while. She is not a person in the fertility tribe, she is a tool. Out here she is free, free to live and free to love the girl, Shana, who lives two houses down. Xander understood love but not the way he should. They finish there soup and Xander took off into the night's darkness. He is there again the next Day. Allison, using her radiation detector, checking the ground before planting. She does this every day at sun up. She listens to its gentle beeps, she trusts it will not make the jarring whirring noise barring her from planting in a patch of ground. The whirring does not come, just like yesterday. But Xander does. This time in the broad daylight, more brazen than yesterday. “Please, you have to bring me back.” He pleaded a broken man and a broken record repeating himself day in and out. “Are you going to come here everyday now, you know I'm as powerless as you.” She looked at his eyes always tired. “Please” “Look if you are going to spend every day here, you might as well get some work done.” Allison grabbed thrust the plow towards him so he could till the far side of her plot. At first he just stood there looking at the rough bit of land she had been avoiding. A little dumbfounded, mostly sad, always sad. “Do you think carrots and potatoes grow themselves.” She said egging him on. He started plowing. Spending his whole day at it. He was real bad at it at first but, he was a little less bad by the end of the day. That night they ate the last of the stew and he did not mention his daughter, Sarah. Allison let him sleep on the floor in her kitchen. Not wanting him in her bedroom the only other room in her house. Xander helped her work the next day, and the next. He was getting the hold of farming slowly but surely. He talked of Sarah every once in awhile but his eyes changed. Not so tired, anymore. A month went by, and at night before Allison was about to go to bed, he brought Sarah up one last time. “I am fast, I can ga ga get ta her, I could see her.” He was shaking a panic attack coming over him. “See who?” Allison asked, she already knew. “Sarah!” He was sweating. “I would not ask you to ra ra risk yourself but, I need to see her.” Allison’s eyes grew wide in the low light of her kitchen. “And, what if she doesn’t want to see you.” “I can ta take her a away from there, she can be free, free like you.” He was raving making wild movements, erratic, impassioned, crazed. “Let’s talk about this again in the morning, you crazy old man.” Not knowing what else to do, she turned and headed to bed. She could hear crying from outside her door. She prayed this would pass. Not wanting to see his eyes as tired ever again. The next night, Allison was heading to the movie theater with Shana. The long walk turned a movie into a full day affair. Xander declined the invite saying he wanted time to himself. When Allison came home Xander was gone, she had a sinking feeling in her stomach, she knew where he went. She feared for her friend, as she looked out her front door, the cold prickling at her neck. There was an ugly smell in the air, that she just could not place. She hoped he would come back, but she knew, she would never see him again.
She went back to her work pulling seeds from her bag and readying them for the earth. She worked until dusk. He stood there all the while. Hiding, not willing to be out in the open more than he had to.
Allison did not hate Xander, but she was tired of his constant asking. As she packed up her supplies he approached her.
“Allison, you are my only chance.” Xander pleaded.
This had slowly turned into a weekly occurrence, after he had first confronted her at the botanical garden. She had headed there in search of some herbs and he had almost outed her secret. Xander wanted Allison to take him back to the fertility tribe. Where they were both from. Allison was fertile and Xander used to be fertile.
Allison would never go back, she could never be her true self there. It's hard being gay when all anyone wants of you is to have kids over and over again. Not being a person just a uterus. Years ago Allison ran away.
Xander on the other hand had been cast out. Sudden infertility is frowned upon, to put it lightly. Now he wandered choosing to not to join another tribe and instead spending every day wallowing in shame.
Allison looked at Xander, his eyes, tired. He was thinner than the last time she saw him. “Come inside, and I will fix you something to eat.”
“Please,” Xander only ever thinking off his daughter. “Bring me back to her”
Allison reached behind her and clutched her kukri, knowing the knife’s edge would be more than enough to protect her, from this sad middle aged man.
“Come inside, I have some carrot stew.” Allison enticed him, carrots were probably the sweetest food that was still safe to eat.
Xander sighed, and they made there way inside. A few times throughout the meal Xander tried again and again to make his case. It would never work, he would, maybe, get to see his daughter one more time. And that is a hard maybe and than be cast out or worse killed. Allison on the other hand would never be trapped again, this time forever. Allison held firm. She told him about her nightmares and that shut him up for a while.
She is not a person in the fertility tribe, she is a tool. Out here she is free, free to live and free to love the girl, Shana, who lives two houses down. Xander understood love but not the way he should.
They finish there soup and Xander took off into the night's darkness.
He is there again the next Day. Allison, using her radiation detector, checking the ground before planting. She does this every day at sun up. She listens to its gentle beeps, she trusts it will not make the jarring whirring noise barring her from planting in a patch of ground. The whirring does not come, just like yesterday. But Xander does. This time in the broad daylight, more brazen than yesterday.
“Please, you have to bring me back.” He pleaded a broken man and a broken record repeating himself day in and out.
“Are you going to come here everyday now, you know I'm as powerless as you.” She looked at his eyes always tired.
“Please”
“Look if you are going to spend every day here, you might as well get some work done.” Allison grabbed thrust the plow towards him so he could till the far side of her plot. At first he just stood there looking at the rough bit of land she had been avoiding. A little dumbfounded, mostly sad, always sad.
“Do you think carrots and potatoes grow themselves.” She said egging him on.
He started plowing. Spending his whole day at it. He was real bad at it at first but, he was a little less bad by the end of the day. That night they ate the last of the stew and he did not mention his daughter, Sarah. Allison let him sleep on the floor in her kitchen. Not wanting him in her bedroom the only other room in her house.
Xander helped her work the next day, and the next. He was getting the hold of farming slowly but surely. He talked of Sarah every once in awhile but his eyes changed. Not so tired, anymore.
A month went by, and at night before Allison was about to go to bed, he brought Sarah up one last time. “I am fast, I can ga ga get ta her, I could see her.” He was shaking a panic attack coming over him.
“See who?” Allison asked, she already knew.
“Sarah!” He was sweating. “I would not ask you to ra ra risk yourself but, I need to see her.”
Allison’s eyes grew wide in the low light of her kitchen. “And, what if she doesn’t want to see you.”
“I can ta take her a away from there, she can be free, free like you.” He was raving making wild movements, erratic, impassioned, crazed.
“Let’s talk about this again in the morning, you crazy old man.” Not knowing what else to do, she turned and headed to bed. She could hear crying from outside her door. She prayed this would pass. Not wanting to see his eyes as tired ever again.
The next night, Allison was heading to the movie theater with Shana. The long walk turned a movie into a full day affair. Xander declined the invite saying he wanted time to himself.
When Allison came home Xander was gone, she had a sinking feeling in her stomach, she knew where he went. She feared for her friend, as she looked out her front door, the cold prickling at her neck. There was an ugly smell in the air, that she just could not place. She hoped he would come back, but she knew, she would never see him again.